Joss on High
by Pandora North Star
Summary: Pandora North Star* dimension hops to Sunnydale during summer season 5. Oh no, what if she spoils season 6! Who is this omnipotent person? Who is Joss whedon. The Scoobies get a lesson in Buffyism...


Title: The Spell's the Thing  
BY:PNS* (Duh)  
Notes: What happens when PNS goes to Sunnydale? does she screw it all up with her spoilers? Will she make it home in time for the premiere? Can she give the Scoobies faith? Is she a long lost sister?  
The heat of the day has just worn off. Spike sat on porch of The Summers' house enjoying the breezy night. He didn't expect a thing when the girl popped out of nowhere and landed on top of him.   
"Ooff!" Spike moaned as the weight landed on his lap, sending him sprawling. The girl yelped and groaned as she tumbled off his lap onto the grass. "Where the hell did you come from?" Spike barked tossing away his cigarette in anger.   
The girl stood up with a surprised look in her eyes. In one hand she held a stick of incense, in the other she held a pen and apicture of Spike and his friends.  
"Where the hell did you get that?" She backed away in alarm. Sticks and twigs were stuck in her hair and she didn't look very threatening. Spike relaxed and waited for an explanation.  
"Where am I?" She said at last.  
"Sunnydale? How'd you pop over like that? why here?"  
"Sunnydale? Like the real Sunnydale? I totally didn't think this would work." She shook her head causing leaves to flutter from her hair.  
"What to happen?" Spike took a step forward, entrigued.  
"Woah. Stay there. What season is this?"  
"Huh?" spike raised a brow. Obviously this girl was out of her bird.   
"Who are you?" The girl swallowed, gathering courage.  
"I'm Pandora North Star*. Well that's my alias anyway. I'm a Buffy fan fiction writer."  
"What do you mean? how do you know about Buffy?" He looked defensive. she bit her lip.  
"I um, I come from this other dimension, called well this dimension. but um Sunnydale doesn't exist. It's sort of a TV show called Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I wondered if I could get to it and I did a spell." she waved the picture. "So here I am."   
"Seriously?" He cocked his head. "It doesn't exist?"  
"Nope. It's a televison show. you are played by this guy named James Marsters."  
"Talk about mind boggling." Spike shook his head and pulled another cigarette out. "But I wouldn't put it past magic. So this other dimension?"  
"Like this one. There's no vampires or demons or anything. And no apocalypse's or Slayers."   
"Strange."  
"So seriously, I want to know what season this is. Are you ya know neutered?" Spike glared at her. "I guess you are."  
"If you want to know, Buffy's dead."  
"I'm sorry." Her eyes went down. "I cried when I saw it happen. I know you did too. It was hard wasn't it?"  
"you have no idea pet." He flung the cigarette down again, into the growing pile of butts.   
"Can I tell you something?"  
"What?"  
"She comes back."  
"huh?   
"I haven't seen the episode yet,cos it hasn't premiered but I heard. She comes back."  
"No kidding?" His mood changed and he grinned his adorable grin.   
"I promise." Her face changed to one of wonder. "Wow. So like you're really living. And God to you is Joss Whedon."  
"What? god doesn't exist."  
"Actually he does. He's this guy in my dimension who created Buffy. He's the one who had the Initiative neuter you and send Angel away."   
"Why's he so cruel?"  
"for ratings." She shrugged. "No. He feels for you all. But ya know living on a Hellmouth is a cruel life."  
"So you like know everything about us?"  
"Mostly. all we can find out in an hour a week." She looked at him with a muschievous smile. "William the Bloody Bad Poet." His jaw dropped. "We sort of see into your past too. i must say I loved your 70's look. Loved the hair." she reached up to touch his hair and he snagged her arm.   
"I don't know how well this chip will work on someone not from this dimension." she squrimed under his grip.  
"What did I do to you? I told you the love of your life was coming back." He released her and she backed away with tears in her eyes.  
"I didn't mean it." Spike said tentatively. "This is kind of crazy. yYu can't expect me to be cool about it. You just said this random dude is God and he decides my future."  
"Maybe I shouldn't have told you then."   
"What episode is this?"  
"It isn't one. It's the summer repeat season. Sarah is off making a new Scooby Doo movie."  
"Sarah?"  
"Buffy?"  
"Oh. Ok." They stood for a minute. Pandora North star pulled some leaves from her hair. She looked like an older version of Dawn. Almost like a Summers.   
"Would you like to come in? Willow's inside. I'm sure she'll like to hear Buffy will come back."  
"I don't know. Look at the mess I've made already."  
"Come on. Unless you can get home without Willow's help?" He raised a scarred brow at her. she smacked herselfin the head.  
"Stupid! I got myself here and I can't get back."  
"Come then love." they went inside.  
"Hey Willow. got a surprise for you." Willow came into the kitchen and looked at Pandora in puzzlement.  
"Hi. Yeah. I'm Pandora North Star. I come from another dimension bearing spoilers, I mean prophecies from the God, Joss Whedon."  
"What?" Willow looked to Spike for an explanation. he shrugged.  
"She fell out of the sky. she says she comes from this place where Buffy is a tv show and we are all played by actors and this guy Joss Whedon defines our destinies." Willow dropped the plate she was holding. It smashed on the floor.  
"Ask my anything about these last 6 years." Pandora said.  
"Ok. Why did Buffy move to Sunnydale?"  
"Easy. She burnt down the Hemery High Gym."  
"what's Dawn."  
"The key. She doesn't actually exist and didn't exist for the first 4 season."  
"Name 3 jobs Xander's held."  
"Ice cream man, construction worker, male stripper/busboy. You used to date Oz. Spike is a descendant of the master. Darla was born in Virginia in 1690. Your mom calls Buffy "Bunny". You used to love Xander. His first time was with Faith. Anya was a vengence demon. Giles used to be Ripper. Glory is Ben. Should I continue?"  
"No. Please don't." Willow's face had gone ashen. Tara came in.  
"What's up babe?"  
"She knows all." Willow said plainly.  
"Hi Tara. Your family pretended you were a demon. your mom died. So did mine. You helped Willow move a vending machine running from The Gentlemen. Oz attacked you once."  
"Why is she here?"  
"Well I just wanted to be on Buffy and I did a spell and it worked. My guess, by Whedon conclusions that I am here to give you information. which means I should tell you how to get Buffy back."  
"Back? she's dead?"   
"Who's ever really dead in sunnydale?"  
"Good point. So this Joss Whedon guy?..."  
"He's God as far as Buffy followers are concerned, and seeing you here in the flesh, I guess I can truly say he is God."  
"Buffy followers?" Tara looked to Willow as Dawn entered.  
"How about we call the others. That way you can save the story and explain it all at once."  
"Do you have anything to eat? interdimensional traveling makes you hungry."  
"I will make food." Pandora jumped.  
"Oh Buffybot. Forgot she was still good." Pandora shook her head. spike reached up and retrieved another leaf. "Thanks." She looked at him sheepishly with a wistful smile on Willow and Tara caught.  
Giles, Xander and Anya showed up soon after and they gathered in the livingroom. "Now tell us." Giles commanded. He was very suspicious and weary of it all.   
"Tell you what? I can tell you anything."  
"Why don't you explain how you got here first." Willow offered gently.   
"I did a spell. You're a tv show where I am from. I meant to be on the show now I'm in it. Joss Whedon is God. He decides your fate. That's how I know what will happen. Now I just want to go home." Pandora sighed and ground her sneakers into the carpet.   
"And you say Buffy comes back?"  
"No."  
"No?" They looked at her in confusion. "But-"  
"I'm sorry. I think I was making a mistake." She stammered.   
"What did the Mayor do?"  
"Ascend."  
"Where's Faith from?"  
"Boston. Same as me and the actress that plays her. Hey Ripper, how's your grandmother the watcher?" Pandora's eyes flashed with fear and frustration, like an animal trapped. Spike could feel for her, he knew both ends of the spectrum. He also felt an obligation since he was the one who brought her inside.  
"This is incredible."  
"Look, I'm not saying Joss really is God, but he seems it."  
"It's confounding that a dmiension exists so like our one yet without the natural evils."  
"There's a worse evil. Called man. world War 3 is starting back home. I'd rather fight vamps than people."  
"World War 3? Oh God."  
"Yeah. I'd rather a quick apocalypse than the fear we've been living with in America. Never take for granted the freedom of it."   
"Giles, can I talk to you?" willow pulled Giles over to the side. they talked for a moment.   
"Pandora? We think we should send you back home. You're nice and all but you're playing with a force we can't handle. you're like an omnipotent being and this information could be bad in the wrong hands. Do you understand?"  
"Yeah. I just wanted to see what it was like in The Buffy world." She shrugged. Then a noise reverberated through the room ofcrashing glass. Spike shoved Pandora down as the windows exploded and something jumped inside.  
"Jebus! What the hell is that?" Pandora Hollered, her brown eyes wide.  
"You wanted to be part of our world? Welcome." Xander dove for the weapons chest and tossed out weapons. the huge demon lumbered forward, his head brushing the ceiling. Pandora snagged an ax and paused when she caught it.   
"Cool." She charged for the demon as they shouted to her to stop. the demon grabbed the handle of the ax and lifted her to eye level. It grunted in her face. "Hello." she said nervously as it tossed her away.   
"Slayer." It eyed the Buffybot.  
"I will stake you." the Buffybot warned.   
From out of nowhere a mace went flying and bashed the demon. It fell to the ground. Spike stood, empty handed. "Well love, how much do you like our world now." Xander helped Pandora up.   
"I appreciate it more. You guys must be endlessly bruised."  
"I'm going to go to the shop and pick up some books. Anya why don't you come. As soon as we figure out how to send her back, the better."  
"You can sense it can't you?" Pandora looked at Giles. "The magic's off. I shouldn't be here."  
"We can't help that now." They left. Spike went upstairs to put Dawn to bed and Willow stayed with Pandora who sat straightbacked on the couch.  
"Can I tell you something?"  
"Anything."  
"Buffy will come back. But things have to stay the same. I could mess up your world. I think I was sent here to tell you how to bring her back. Only you can know, then you may tell Anya, Tara and Xander. do you understand?"  
"Yeah. I don't wanna ya know make Sunnydale go kerplooey."  
"The Urn of Osiris. It will bring her back. Beware of the consequences."  
"Whatever it takes."  
"Good. It will be up to you then." Pandora Smiled. "I will never forget this. To be here. You don't understand what this means to me." They hugged. Willow didn't know what else to do."  
While they waited Pandora paced around the room. Willow and the others who had returned asked questions. pandora paused in front of a picture  
. "Who's that?"  
"That's Buffy's cousin."  
"Get out! That's my cousin. Well second cousin. How could that be?"  
"Well the dimensions are similar you said?"  
"Duh!" Pandora snapped her fingers. "That's how I was able to get here! My family must have switched dimensions! I must been lucky enough to find a portal as I said the spell."  
"Does does mean Joss is your God?"  
"No. I think it means Joss can see this world. he isn't God. Oh I got it all wrong! He just relays the messages!" Everyone exchanged glances. Pandora grabbed Willow. "Does this mean if we can pass dimensions than so can vampires?"  
"Wouldn't put it past them."  
"Then my dimension needs a Slayer."   
"Pandora." The word seemed to descend from on high. "Would you like to be the Slayer?" She nodded, to stunned to speak. "Then stop giving away spoilers- I mean prophecies."  
"Yes." she nodded.  
"Was that?" Spike looked at Pandora.  
"That was Joss Whedon."   
"Poor girl."  
"Why? I want to be the Slayer. Who cares if I die an early death? So be it. It's a gift."  
"We're back. We have the spell to get her back across." Pandora stood up. She looked at Willow with a wink.   
"If you ever need help, call us. We're only a dimesnsion away."  
Willow offered.  
"You know, I just might take you up on that."  
"Hey Spike." Pandora beckoned Spike over as Giles opened the portal. she beckoned him close then reached around and pinched his butt. "If things don't work out with Buffy, look me up. I'm a Summers'." Pandora laughed. Spike's mouth made a little o.  
"Bye! It was nice meeting you all." She jumped back in the portal and disappeared.  
"That was quite interesting." Giles said at last.  
"Not much else to say."  
THE END   



End file.
